What's up!
I was supposed to do this entry the other night, but a lot of thing came up in the last minute. I can say that night was almost the busiest night of my life, maybe as busy as Barack Obama's. I don't know. It was very very tiring that I came back to my room at 11.30, or so, after a Bina Insan Guru (BIG) meeting, an assignment discussion with my girl, met a senior, back to room, a lot of domestic work were waiting in lines to be done. It was so tiring. All I can say is, with a great power, comes a great responsibility, and that is the price you have to pay.
So, I'm here now, with my Mr. Lappy. I am still thinking about the heart - to - heart talk, which I think I regret doing it. I keep thinking why am I doing that in the first place. I shouldn't have to tell anyone about my problem. No matter how big or small it is, it is mine to bear. So, I am so sorry for making them listening. I know the fact that people will never understand you and your problem. Ever.
Ok, cut that off. I should start writing about the "first love" thing here. And, yeah, of course, I would choose first love over the other suggestion topics. It is much interesting and everyone love "LOVE". My first love???? Here they are.
1) The first love should be to the Creator, who I can't thank enough for creating me the way I am now. For love is wide, the eternal love is for Allah, the only God who creates everything. Talking about the love to the Creator, it is wide, and for me it can be easily understood by listening to the songs. I recommend you Maher Zain's song. Sami Yusof too...
Why worry when you can pray?
2) My first love to the living thing is my parents, the persons who will be there for me at any time, not matter what. Have I mentioned that I have the coolest parents in the world? I am glad they are my parents, and I guarantee you will do the same if you have them as yours.
3) My first love to non - living thing is for sure my Mr. Lappy. I just love Mr. Lappy so much that I can't live without it.
4) Firstly,
My first love, like my real first love is him. You know, sometime, an ordinary person speaks an ordinary language, but you feel extraordinary different. The feeling is just indescribable. The girls, obviously, do some random list about the characteristic of the guy they want, which I am not one of them, but in the end of the day, all of us will fall for someone opposite to the list. Once we fall for someone, any list is just useless that moment.
The only impossible thing so far.
One thing I always wondering about is what is my future husband doing right now. Have you guys ever wondered about that? It is weird that I don't really care about what he looks like, what kind of language he speaks or is he rich. I don't know who is him, but i already have the script of how we meet. Check this out:
"Hey, beautiful. I want to be in your life with no intention of going back. So, let me make this clear. I don't like sharing. So, if you want to be mine, it's mine only. One more thing, I can't promise you a perfect life, but I promise you we'll be there for each other through thick and thin. So, what do you say?"
Ok, that might sound crazy, but, you know what future husband? I am more to straight forward person, and I like things straight, so this kind of thing totally work for me. I am not the kind of five star hotel or candle light dinner, or teddy bear and chocolate on Valentine. Oh, please. I don't eat chocolate. And the pick up lines? It's cheesy.
One said to me, "Go for someone who loves you rather than someone you loves". Then i asked my mom for her opinion, and not surprisingly, she voted 10 for it. I told her my opinion, that I think it is unfair for the other side. You know what I mean? Ok, let say we go for someone who loves us way MORE than we do. It's is totally unfair for him, because we don't love the other side as much as he do. In other word, it is UNFAIR! If you don't love him enough, then don't love him at all, because someone somewhere loves him more than we do, and he really deserves that. You know what my mom said after I told her that? She said, "You don't experience it yet, so you don't understand". Come on mom! It's love and everybody understand that.
I really believe that a good guy was meant for a good girl. I am not saying that I am good enough to deserve a good guy, but I pray to have a good guy to lead me and my kids. My future kids really need a good example, and it is his responsibility to be a good leader for us. One thing I realize, no matter how beautiful the plan is, people just don't stay in our life. Either breaking up, divorce or death do us apart. The ugly truth is, start preparing for the good byes.
I am thankful for being a human not an elephant. If I were an elephant, I would have died countless time.
"just because she comes off strong , doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she act like nothing is wrong , maybe she's just really good at lying ."
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